The Moment
I write about the deeper things I’ve had to (un)learn to let go of who I thought I should be and reconnect with who I really am. Follow the current series on how health anxiety took over my life (and how I got to the other side).
The morning routine I never wanted to have
Hi Reader, It’s been over a month since I’ve shared a blog post update with you on this current series I’m writing about overcoming health anxiety. Writing about my experiences has been taking longer than I imagined. It’s difficult to put emotions into words, to stand back and see how much I was struggling, and to weave in the life lessons I wish I'd known back then. In the past, I would have jumped straight into sharing something like my top ten tips for dealing with health anxiety, but as I...
How my dark night of the soul began (the colposcopy)
Hi Reader, Sometimes life forces you to face your fears head-on, perhaps as a challenge to see whether you're willing to handle things differently than you have in the past. That’s what it felt like when I had to get a biopsy in 2024. Anything to do with the medical world has terrified me for as long as I can remember. I avoided getting bloodwork for more than ten years. Even a pap smear could make me queasy and lightheaded. So when I found out I needed to have a biopsy, I was a mess. The...
When an unexpected diagnosis changed everything
Hi Reader, I’m writing this email to you from my couch, watching the leaves swaying outside on a beautiful, sunny day. I wish you could hear the sweet little chirping birds right now. Over a year ago, I didn’t even know this could be my reality. I was in a completely different place mentally, physically, and emotionally. In October of 2024, I received abnormal results from a routine health check. Those results led to what felt like never-ending fear, hypervigilance, and physical pain. A few...
I had to disappear so I could come back to myself
Hi Reader, It’s been a long time since I’ve sent a newsletter. I honestly wasn't sure if I was ever going to send another one. I didn't know if I could keep writing after a series of events led me into what I would call a dark night of the soul. Over the past year and a half, almost every area of my life has been wiped clean. And not in a spring cleaning kind of way. More like a “this is being taken from you, and there’s nothing you can do to get it back” kind of way. I felt like I had to...
Breaking the cycle of chaos and enjoying the in-between
Hi Reader, This year has been one big transition period for me. From dealing with a breakup to moving to another state, everything changed at once. All I really wanted at the beginning of 2024 was for life to return to “normal.” Of course, normal meant the previous version of my life as I knew it: the people, places, and daily routines I was familiar with. But that wasn’t going to happen. Now that life has slowed down a little and I’ve created a new normal, I find myself resisting the calm....
Being content with who you are changes everything
Hi Reader, There’s a term in marketing called the ‘know, like, trust’ factor. When a brand is trying to get someone to go from a casual onlooker to a dedicated customer, they want them to 1) know the brand exists, 2) like the brand enough to try something, and 3) trust the brand enough to keep repurchasing. Now I’m not here to give you a marketing lesson, but I noticed an interesting parallel between this concept and the road to self-acceptance. Self-acceptance means seeing yourself as you...
When life changes without asking your permission
Hi Reader, I hope you’ve been well since I sent my last newsletter (which was about six months now). My life has been nothing but a series of shifts in 2024. I went through a breakup in January after being in a relationship for eight years. It was one of those things where I felt as if the rug had been swept out from under my feet. I said goodbye to him, our apartment, and our dog. I moved back in with my parents with the intention of staying for a short while, but they swiftly decided to...
Does everyone have an internal sense of direction?
Hi Reader, A few years ago, I wrote a post encouraging people to stop searching for answers. The topic came from my own experience of seeking out ideas and solutions from other people whenever I felt stuck in life. After all, it’s natural to want to see how other people have navigated difficult situations. But this would lead me to obsessively search for answers, trying to find the *right* one that would somehow fix everything in my life. What I learned through a lot of trial and error is...
How to get out of a rut with the butterfly effect
Hi Reader, I mentioned in my last email that I’ve been in a creative rut for the past few years, and I’ve just generally been feeling stuck with where I’m at in life. It feels like I’ve been moving through wet cement, trying to get somewhere but I’m not quite sure where. Late one night, I decided to search on YouTube for the phrase ‘how to transform your life.’ I knew I needed some form of change, but I wasn’t sure what. The younger me would have thought I needed to do something drastic like...
I write about the deeper things I’ve had to (un)learn to let go of who I thought I should be and reconnect with who I really am. Follow the current series on how health anxiety took over my life (and how I got to the other side).